SPRING BREAK 2015
PRESS PLAY AND READ ALONG. (PREFERABLY WHILE YOU ARE ON YOUR PHONE IN BED)
OR
PRESS PLAY AND LISTEN. (PREFERABLY IF YOU ARE DRIVING)
"Every time I hear this song, I’m reminded of my last spring break. Not the most recent one, but spring break of 2015. I was so lost at that point in time. I was going through what would eventually end up being the most difficult break up I’ve had to experience to date. I was questioning everything. There weren’t any answers in my life at that point. Or so it seemed, I mean there were, but I was subconsciously refusing to see them. I was questioning opinions. I was questioning answers. I was skeptical of advice. I was even questioning my own questions. That doesn’t make any sense at all! It was frantic at that particular time in my life to say the least. Also, I had broken my retainers, so that was terrible timing as well. But I guess that anything bad that happens in your life is a result of terrible timing, or so it seems until you look back on it through hindsight. So it was the first week of March and two of my friends wanted to go to Orlando. What did we do?! We drove 8 hours to Orlando. Conveniently, my friend Kyle lives there. I met Kyle while I was still in high school working at a burger joint called Andy’s. He was always like a big bro to me, I mean he still is. And interesting thing is, he actually went to Charlotte before I did. And his one piece of advice to me before I went, was to not miss class. And I always thought of that every time I skipped class. It never helped me, but it always crossed my mind. I felt guilty when I didn’t go, but not guilty enough to make me get out of bed and attend class. Anyways, I just remember getting up late night and just talking about life and how much things have changed. He drove me to his place which was in a private residence surrounded by gates. I was so stuck. This was some next level shit. He’s always given me the best advice, and whether or not I take it, it always sticks with me. He said something to me that night that stuck as well. I just remember thinking to myself how I needed to put myself first. There’s so much to learn, why would I waste my time trying to teach a lesson to someone who wasn’t in a position to get taught. It clicked. It clicked like when I saw that bad, bad, bad bitch at the Grey Goose lounge later that night. She had on a white dress and she was from Canada. Random, I know, but that’s how bad she was, and that’s how I remember her. I was at the top of the Amway center, surrounded by so many people. 100-200 people, it was packed. And somehow in the middle all the alcohol, the fragrances, and the women, I felt lonely. But more than that, I felt content. There were people dancing, there were models, like beautiful-video-vixen-magazine-cover models and it was so overwhelming. The music was terrible and the music was loud. So to say the least, I couldn’t catch a vibe, but being in the middle of all of this, seemed to take me off edge. I was reminded of how we all have our own paths, and sometimes we don’t have control over who’s we cross or how long we cross them for. I was reminded of how lost I was and how I felt that I had lost everything. Then I think about my life now, and how everything that made me feel lost found it’s way out of my life, and how I’ve found peace in living without direction for the time being. And suddenly, I find myself attempting to be more aware than ever, trying to take in as much of this place as I can as I know I don’t belong here, and even though I didn’t intend to be here, I couldn’t imagine being where I thought I would be. I couldn’t imagine not crossing paths with the people that I have in this past year. And I think we’re all lost to an extent, so in a sense, we’re all in this together. If you’re wondering where I’ve been, honestly, I’m a bit selfish now, so I hope that if I don’t pick up, you don’t lose yourself trying to find me. And if you do, maybe we’ll cross paths again. You never know."
-RDL4EVER