FRIDAYS ON SUNDAYS
I was driving to Friday’s last Sunday to cash in on a special that they have going on for the whole summer. You can get a full-rack of ribs for 10 dollars, and it comes with two sides. That’s been my Sunday routine for the past couple of weeks. I got in my car to make this weekly pilgrimage. There was a concert at the PNC, so I had to take the back roads to get on to University. The sunset looked warmer than usual, so I decided to take a picture of it as I was driving. Not the safest thing to do, but what can I say? I’m still here, aren’t I? It’s coming upon August, which means that I will have to decide whether or not to resign my lease for the house. I can’t believe it honestly. 2 years in this house? Already?! August? Already?! 8 months through 2016 already?! Why do we take time for granted knowing that life can change at any given moment? I wonder, although the majority of the moments feel no different from the next, it’s still humbling to think about. I’ve been negotiating with my courage lately, in attempts to make the most of this thing. It’s tough some nights, it really is.
For example, doesn’t it always seem easier to rekindle with an ex than it is to begin an unfamiliar journey with someone new? The thought of getting to know someone and growing comfortable with them is exhausting. I’ve been doing better though. You know, you don’t need someone who chooses you when they aren’t chosen. You don’t need somebody that misses you when they don’t have distractions. These are just generalizations, but then again, some generalizations are all too personal for some of us.
I’ve been more open to experience recently. New experiences with old people and vis-versa, old experiences with new people, because at the end of the day, they’re both new experiences right? Being open to life, sometimes, means that you have to close the door on the people and the things from your past. It’s something that is inevitable, yet at times, we feel that we can avoid doing this under the influence of our own hope that we’ve created. I walk around campus now and it’s emotional for me. The Belk Tower is no longer there. You can’t see Moore Hall from University any more. It’s all so different, it’s all changed. Walking the same paths that I walked for the first time 5 years ago just seems so redundant at this point. I walk past Prospector and I think about all the times Freshman year that Meezy and I got free Chick-Fil-A at the end of the night because they were closing. I see Atkins Library and I remember the time that I played Lil’ B for the first time for Molly on the 8th floor. Just so many memories. I drive past Cedar Hall and I remember how you used to be able to park right in front of it before they began construction on Mary Alexander road. Or what about the College of Education where I met Val in French class? Sheesh, that’s coming up on 3 years ago. I could go on and on, but the point is: I feel that my time here is coming to an end. Amongst many other emotions, I also feel that I do not have the courage to move past this part of my life.
There’s a quote that goes, “If we wait until we are ready, then we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” The first time I saw that quote was on Coty’s Facebook status a few years ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. I can’t stress this to myself enough, make the most of this life Ratha. Last year you didn’t have an online platform. You didn’t release a book on the first day of Summer. You didn’t have the opportunities you have now. A new chapter will begin as soon as you pick the pen up. Better late than never, right? And you feel like you’re better now than ever, right??? Things are different now, so it only makes sense to do things differently. Create as much as possible. Be more open and honest with others. Give yourself a chance. Give them a chance if they seem humbled. Go to sleep earlier. Say yes more often. Invite company over. Use Facebook to communicate rather than to creep. Express yourself, and of all things; just go for it.
Because you don’t know it yet, but some day in the future, you’ll be wishing that you were at this exact moment taking this exact picture of, what seems to be at the time, a mundane Charlotte sunset as a naive 23 year-old who is no more lost than he is found.
-RDL4EVER