Currently: January 17th 2018
I saw a decapitated body on Twitter tonight. It was my first time seeing something that horrific and gruesome. Much worse than this picture of a girl eating ramen out of the toilet I saw last summer. Also on Twitter, ironically. I realize I need to stay off the internet for a while, social media to be specific. If I’m on social media, I hope it’s because I have something worthy to share, and if not, I hope I won’t be. The body had over 20,000 retweets. Over. Twenty. Thousand. There’s too much on the web we’ve become accustomed to seeing, and if not accustomed to, not surprised when we do see it. When did we become so desensitized to human life? Social media has taken the innocence of kids sooner than life would’ve. I think that’s sad.
Not only am I aiming to stay off the internet, I am aiming to get out the house more. It would be good for my spirit and refreshing for my soul to see, hear, touch, taste, and experience a part of my life I’ll miss in the long run. We’re all victims of nostalgia at some point in our lives, some of us—myself—more than others. It seems as if these days all I do is go to the gym, walk Bagel, and stay at the crib writing and making music. It’s relaxing, which is what I’ve been in search for these past few months, but I find it to not be as exciting as change can sometimes feel.
After seeing the body, letting things settle, and making a pact to myself to stay off social media, I decided to make a few more minor changes. I went to the bathroom and shaved off my facial hair. I haven’t shaved completely in so long that when I looked in the mirror, it was tough to recognize myself at first. It’ll be something I’m going to keep up with, which means it’ll be something I’ll need to get used to. I’m also going to be changing shampoos to see what else is out there for me. I’ve been using Head & Shoulders for the past 5 years or so, I think it’s time for a change. This may sound crazy to women, especially because my mother is a hairdresser, but I haven’t used conditioner since I lived with my parents in high school. I’m going to search for a conditioner to add to my hair care routine.
These may seem like small changes, but it’s the feeling of something new that excites me, the breaking of monotony. It’s the possibility of a chain reaction of changes that could lead to a real change, a change I can feel.
A change I’ve been wanting to have the courage to make my whole life.