2017: The Year of Nothing
2017 Monthly Portraits
Click Monthly Portraits to enlarge. If pixelated, wait a few seconds.
Favorite Song: Damage – Future (February 2017)
Favorite Album: HNDRXX, Future (February 2017) // American Teen, Khalid (March 2017)
Favorite Movie Watched: First They Killed My Father, (2017) // Akira, (1988)
Favorite Television Series Watched: How To Make It In America (2010-2011) // Legends of Chamberlain Heights (2016-)
Favorite Destination: Savannah, Georgia (August 2017)
Favorite Purchase: My first KAWS piece, Dissected Mono Companion, (October 2017)
Favorite Restaurant: New Zealand Café, (Charlotte, North Carolina)
Favorite Sport’s Moment: Kobe’s jersey(s) retirement, (December 18th 2017)
Notable Releases: January 2017 (Song, January 2017), the running diary (Blog, March 2017)
IN 2017
2017. What a strange year. I don’t know why and I can’t find ways to explain it to you, but it was. Reflecting on this past year, I find myself at a loss because I can’t find much to reflect on. I let photography slip away from me these last 12 months. The whole year was uninspiring in general. I never got to the majority of the things I set out to do. Let alone strive for my goals, I didn’t do much of anything to begin with. When the days seemed long, the time went by quick. Even at my highest productivity levels, no progress seemed to be made. It’s been a year that at first thought is easily forgettable, but when challenged to dig deeper, will be a year I’ll find to be worthwhile of longing for.
The power of nostalgia.
Favorite Photo Taken: July 2017
It’s cliché’ to say we only have the now, and it’s easier to say we’ve accepted it, but have we really accepted the nature of life if we’re plagued with regrets and held back by things we perceive to be real such as fear and faith? If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that life is a now or never experience in every moment you’re alive. I wish it humbled me more than it does, but I’ve accepted I’m not always going to be humble in this lifetime. That’s just the way things go.
Change won’t always be obvious. Things and people change every day. As subconscious as it may be, we pick and choose the things we pay attention to. Some things go unnoticed, other stones go left unturned. Life happens regardless of who’s keeping track, and at times I’m not sure I’m aware of how I feel. Still, amidst of how mundane this year felt, there were moments I've come to be grateful for. Moments like getting a message on Twitter by a neighbor I looked up to growing up and finding out his sister is a mother now. Mom and Dad selling the house in Athens. Working out and playing ball with Stephan. Getting a job to be social only to find out I liked being alone more than I’d realized. Mom coming across the to-go plate from RDH I somehow kept since Freshman year of college. Missing times that I convinced to myself were simpler. Listening to beats and hanging with AJ while he was in town for a wedding on his mom’s side of the family like we did when we were teenagers and the whole world was in front of us because these days it feels like there’s not much to look forward to that doesn’t make me feel old. Purchasing tickets to my first bar crawl in an attempt to be more adventurous only to go to the Hornets game across the street instead. Hearing about Laura’s stories with men from Chapel Hill. Turning 24. Meeting someone. Laying on the roof of my car looking at planes fly overhead on a semi-cloudy chilly May night with said someone. By chance meeting with strangers that proves kindness still exists in it’s purest form. Paddle boating for the first time. Viewing the total solar eclipse. Exploring Savannah on a few humid summer nights falling in love with the person beside me. Getting the Linn Cove Viaduct souvenir photo. Letting the Camborghini go. Celebrating Bagel’s 5th birthday. Eating brunch with Darius at the Famous Toastery after not getting up since he left for Tacoma. Visiting Christmas Town, USA. Buying my first television. Buying my first KAWS figure. Getting texts from Kellz about how summer of 2010 was 7+ years ago and being reminded of our youth. Being happy for Erica because she’s found someone with potential. Taking my mom to see my favorite football player play live in Jacksonville, someone she’s seen me idolize since I was 13. Kicking Money out of my room after he came back from a date into my room wearing a Carolina hat the night Duke was eliminated from the tourney by South Carolina. Watching Chamberlain Heights with Meezy. Buying my first pair of Air Jordan’s in 5 years. Coming across New Zealand Café and Hibachi Grill on Independence. Launching the running diary dedicated to Vicky. Rewatching the Cosby Show late night. Getting closer to myself, yet further away from the things I miss dearly. Realizing I can’t miss moments if they never pass or miss the way things were if they were to never change. Telling myself things are better this way because this is how things are meant to be, and things are meant to be how they are.
This year isn’t what I thought it would be, but then again, when is life? You just have to hold on to the belief these years are a part of something great in the long run. Hope is as strong as your faith is, and my faith in everything coming together somewhere along this journey is real, no matter how little I understand at times.
2017, it’s been good.
IN 2018
I want to stop fooling myself and search for the truth abidingly despite living in times of illusions and malice.