The Neighborhood
I found Amazon Prime has Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood on stream while browsing a few nights ago. I remembered watching him on a Toshiba tube television growing up. Sesame Street, Arthur, Reading Rainbow, and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. I put on an episode and let a few run on auto-play. As I was watching, my first impression was how relaxing Mr. Roger’s demeanor was, and how special he made parts of my early childhood for me. I looked forward to his show before I knew what looking forward was. Shit, I still don’t know what looking forward is these days. What I’m most appreciative about his show is he took us on field trips and showed us what life was like at the time. Technology influences society, society influences life. Different lives are lived in the same lifetime due to this cause and effect dynamic. We refer to this as change objectively, and growth subjectively.
In one episode, Mr. Roger’s went to visit his friend Mr. Wayne driving a battery powered car. This whole time I was under the impression the idea of electric cars was fairly new, but it isn’t! The concept of a car is nearly 40 years old!! Nevertheless, the fashion, the language, the excitement of new, the 80’s seemed to be a renaissance of some sort from all aspects of culture. In its own right, documentation is one of the closest things to time travel we have due to our conscious. I take trips all the time in my mind. Certain times though, trips take me to places. They take me to places I’ve forgotten about or to places I’ve become accustomed to living without. You ever barely remember, so much so you barely forgot it? At the end of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood before he takes his shoes off and hangs his coat, he walks by a stoplight and feeds his fish. I can’t say I vividly remember this, but I remember it. It triggered feelings I haven’t been able to articulate nor judge, but I felt something. I stopped ironing my clothes, sat down, and paused the screen.
The thought that came to mind was I was watching these same exact episodes I had first been introduced to 20 years prior. 20. Years. Prior.
Erica said something to me years ago that stuck with me. She texted me randomly and said, ‘you know what I find interesting Ratha? That our brain is tangible, yet it holds all our intangibles such as our knowledge and our memories.’ That blew my mind. Neuroscientists and psychologists debate on how and where our memories are stored in our brain. The hippocampus is the part of our brain which is responsible for short-term memory storage. It does this by connecting neurons that will eventually fix themselves in place, resulting in a memory. Memories build up over time in an index-like personal encyclopedia, leading to long-term memory. Knowing all of this, we’ve barely scratched the surface within the field of neurology. Nostalgia can’t adequately be explained emotionally nor scientifically, and there’s a possibility our brain never forgets, we just forget how to locate various experiences in our mind. Incredible isn’t it? Makes me question who the mastermind behind all of this is.
I believe the greatest gift parents can give their children is a wonderful childhood. A childhood filled with innocence, curiosity, learning, gapped-tooth laughs, and lots and lots of love. My mom told me a few months ago her and my dad found old family videos, the VHS kind. As my dad was watching, he called it precious. That almost made me cry when she told me over the phone. I didn’t know much then, but the happiness I felt was undeniable. We are all in a much better place now, but I wonder if my parents would go back to relive those same moments as much as I think about it. I’m not sure I would like to be 4 years old again, but I would like to explore and view the world in the same manner as I did back then. Even if only for a few moments. Growing up, adults make the decisions for us kids. When we grow up, we begin making decisions. Being decisive is powerful. It makes us feel like we are in charge of our own life, our own destiny. It’s empowering whether we realize it or not, although it hinders our willingness to accept the things we do not understand when making decisions goes south. Being a kid, you accept what’s given to you and make the best of it, and usually the best of it resulted in happiness. My advice to you is to not forget happiness and how you are perhaps a few simple decisions from being so.
Mr. Rogers’ feeding his fish by his stoplight. Losing my orange Chuckie Rugrats watch from Burger King at the movie theatre in Warwick. My mom talking to my sister on her cell phone on the way back to Warwick from MA, only to hear our neighbor directly above us shot and killed himself. Waving and hiding from the two ladies who would walk every morning and wave to us in our apartments in Durham from our 2nd floor apartment. Rabbity. My talking Arthur plush from Roses. Singing the wheels on the bus go round and round from my car seat on family road trips. Falling asleep at my cousin’s in Minnesota and waking up crying because I thought I missed going to the mall with my extended family. A sunny weekend afternoon when my dad taught me how to ride my red and silver bike without training wheels.
This is all arbitrary, all random childhood memories that mean something to me by justification of emotions associated with each experience, in-explainable or not.
Sometimes we travel time to experience new things, sometimes we travel time with a bit of nostalgia to feel old feelings. Who’s to say what’s better?
Either way, it’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood.